What No One Tells You About Borderline Personality Disorder

If you’ve heard or seen a show like Crazy Ex-Girlfriend or Bojack Horseman, or a movie like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or The Edge of Seventeen, you’ve probably heard of borderline personality disorder (BPD). These shows and films have been praised for their most accurate portrayals of BPD. But how accurate are these portrayals? What is it really like living with BPD?

One common myth about BPD is that it is synonymous with people who are “attention–seeking.” But that isn’t exactly the case. Borderline personality disorder is a condition where individuals have an intense fear of abandonment and emotional dysregulation, which can present in many different ways (Borderline Personality Disorder: Causes, Symptoms & Treatment, 2017). Symptoms include:

• Fear of abandonment – Many people with BPD experience difficulty being alone. This can lead to unstable relationships, where they often cycle between putting people on a pedestal to feeling like (and sometimes treating like) they don’t matter (Borderline Personality Disorder – Symptoms and Causes – Mayo Clinic, 2024).
• Mood changes – Sometimes people can experience rage, anxiety, love, fear, etc. towards the world, others, or themselves. These can also last for hours or days.
• Impulsive behavior – Examples of this include gambling, substance abuse, binge eating, unsafe sex, shopping sprees, and more.
• Paranoia – This can include dissociation, hallucinations, and feeling an overall sense of loss with reality.
• Intense anger – Individuals with BPD often experience losing their temper and it can feel irrational later, leading to a cycle of feeling intense shame or guilt that repeats with the anger.
• Unbalanced sense of self – A common symptom of BPD is having an “unclear” or negative self–image. This can lead to self – sabotage such as intentionally getting fired or letting go of a friendship or relationship because of changing and unclear goals a person has for themself.

Another myth (and one that many with mental illnesses hear often) is that individuals living with BPD are “crazy.” However, it has been shown that while their actions might be erratic, there is almost always a common stressor behind the actions (BPD Myths and Facts – Borderline in the ACT, n.d.). When a person with BPD self – sabotages, or “downgrades” a relationship, or reacts to a situation in anger, often times it is a cry for help. Something that they hold dear to them is either being challenged or threatened, such as their sense of security, which may cause them to act in a way that is not easily understood by others.

Finally, one of the biggest myths of BPD is that it is untreatable. However, studies have shown that effective treatment approaches include dialectal behavioral therapy (DBT) and trauma-focused therapy (Kolthof et al., 2022). DBT focuses on the emotional dysregulation piece of BPD, working to reduce intense anger and unstable relationships, while trauma-focused therapy helps with the unbalanced sense of self and works to help the individual understand where they might self-sabotage and ways to prevent this.

Although there have been recent and accurate portrayals of BPD, being diagnosed with it is something that is still heavily stigmatized. While it is praised in the media for its realism, sometimes in real life it is not always understood; however, taking time to read past the myths and understanding how a mental illness can present can help to reduce the stereotypes and misinformation.

References

Borderline personality disorder – Symptoms and causes – Mayo Clinic. (2024, January 31).

Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20370237

Borderline Personality Disorder: Causes, Symptoms & Treatment. (2017, August 24).

Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9762-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd

BPD myths and facts – Borderline in the ACT. (n.d.). Borderline in the ACT. Retrieved August

29, 2024, from https://www.borderlineintheact.org.au/living-with-bpd/bpd-myths-and-facts/

Kolthof, K. A., Voorendonk, E. M., Van Minnen, A., & De Jongh, A. (2022, November 23).

Effects of intensive trauma-focused treatment of individuals with both post-traumatic stress disorder and borderline personality disorder. National Library of Medicine. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9704092/